THE LAST TIME I DIDN'T POST SHOW INFO AND I GOT IN TROUBLE SO HERE WE GO...
Your pals the Vandervoorts have a last-minute show this Tuesday, and we have been last-minute-practicing our little defective hearts out for you, you, and you (actually, we practiced within the limit of our little defective hearts. Then we ordered pizza.)
On the agenda: New favorites, old junk, and the G train making all stops from Long Island City/Court Square to Metropolitan/Lorimer.
9pm Tuesday April 25th at the Pussycat Lounge 96 Greenwich Street at Rector, 2nd Floor, New York City, NY with Paper Fleet http://myspace.com/paperfleet and Ghost Dad http://myspace.com/finalfantasy We play at 9pm. Door is $8, but use the sneaky little coupon attached to get in for two bucks less. Show is 21+ (sorry).
First off, Kitty Balboa over at the always entertaining and illuminating What the HELL What's Up VANDERVOORTS (I'd add you to my blogroll if I knew how, Kitty!) wants to know if I was at "one of their best" shows. Kitty, do you think someone with the sort of whuffie (look it up) that I have would be slacking off? No way.
So yeah, I was at the "Jerk House" show, and by "Jerk House" I mean some brownstone in Brooklyn filled with spoiled little hippies who can afford the Metro-North down from Westchester but can't scrape together enough change from between the cushions of their parent's spare leather sofa to buy a stick of deoderant.
But let me say this--those spoiled little hippies know a thing or two about throwing a rock and roll show! And what they don't know the Vandervoorts broke down and taught them. My grandfather used to say that if he gave me a fish we would eat for dinner, but if he taught me to fish then I could eat fish pretty much whenever I wanted as long as I was near a lake or stream (this was before Thomas Edison had invented the grocery store). Well the Vandervoorts are like my grandfather of the rock and roll movement. I'll explain. Let's say REM were still alive and they were doing a show next week. Millions of people would go, and they'd rock out and have a pretty good time. But the next day? Nothing. "Get back to work. Don't eat hamburgers medium-rare. Floss before you go to bed. Pay your child support." And so on. You know how it is with life, people! Not the Vandervoorts. They come to town and they don't just rock your children, they teach your children how to rock.
So anyway, back to "Jerk House," if we're talking about the Vandervoorts taking kids to school, then this was sort of the AP class. Kids weren't just learning theories, they learning the how and the why behind the theory. There was even that irritating kid who asks too many questions and then argues with the teacher about every multiple choice question he missed on the test. And the one jock who's smart enough to be in AP, he was there too. Who wasn't there? ALL THE POPULAR KIDS.
Okay, enough of my babbling. It was a very good show and the Vandervoorts should be proud of it, but I've been busy lately and didn't have time to comment on it. Busy doing what, you ask? Of course. Early this year it came to my attention that there is a video in existence of what my source called "the proto-Vandervoorts." After a great deal discussion and negotation, I can finally report to you that I have secured the GLOBAL DISTRIBUTION RIGHTS for this piece of video. And of course I'm happy to share it with you here, now.
The details are tantilizingly specific yet maddingly vague. It dates from October 27, 2002, and a small piece of tape indicates the location as "Thames St, Brooklyn NY." The quality is atrocious, and each clip is no longer than about twenty seconds. My source claims this is because it was recorded with an early digital camera that needed to be cranked every twenty seconds to restore its power. I was skeptical but he showed me a page on the Wikipedia where just such a device is described.
We can see three of the current Vandervoorts, but Emma Vandervoort is replaced by a tall gentleman in a captain's hat. Late in the clip you'll hear him mumble out the theme to Diff'rent Strokes. The Vandervoorts have come a long way, but they also started quite a ways back.
I hope you enjoyed the film, I paid a lot of money for it.
WALTER, PLEASE PROOFREAD THIS BEFORE POSTING TO THE BLOG I AM NOT FEELING WELL - ME
Oh the weather outside is frightful But Cake Shop is so delightful And since we've no place to go Vandervoorts show! Vandervoorts show! Vandervoorts show!
It doesn't show signs of stopping And the band has started popping The lights are turned way down low Vandervoorts show! Vandervoorts show! Vandervoorts show!
When we finally leave the club How I'll hate going out in the storm! But I'll hold onto my ticket stub And all the way home I'll be warm
The music is slowly dying And friends, we're still goodbyeing But as long as they rock out so Vandervoorts show! Vandervoorts show! Vandervoorts show!
It is the only major subway line in New York that does not enter Manhattan. Its route is short: 16 stations at peak hours. Its trains, 4 cars instead of the usual 8 or 10, seem oddly truncated. Even the color of its route symbol, a sickly lime green, suggests unease.
It's the G line, which rumbles between Queens and Brooklyn, and has never been much loved by subway riders. It does not have the multiethnic charm of the No. 7, the iPod-hipster bustle of the L, the quaint charm of the 42nd Street shuttle or the romance of the A. It has not been immortalized in song.
Vandervoorts Sing-Along Fun Time (Bratz-compatible playset sold separately)
Like mistletoe with less kissing, like Bing Crosby with less child-beating, the holiday season is starting and it means Vandervoorts Vandervoorts Vandervoorts. We have two exciting shows coming up. Come to one! Come to both! We're still trying to do that thing where if you attend six shows you get a free sandwich. We're waiting for Subway to call us back.
Friday December 9th we will be at Tommy's Tavern with The Orphanage, Go Sell Drugs, Gloryhole and a solo performance by Emilyn Brodsky. Oh, we also have a new song about being in a coma! I'm not sure if any of the other bands have songs about comas. If they do see above re: Mothra, Godzilla. The show starts at 8pm. We will be the third or fourth band. The cost is two bucks. Tommy's Tavern is in Greenpoint at Freeman and Manhattan Ave. Also they have "A NEW 2006 MEGATOUCH MACHINE WITH TEXAS HOLD'EM."
Some of our songs have endings now! We're pretty excited about that. Come out and see us some time.
The concept of conservative fellows getting gay married in heaven
Paper Fleet and Logjam
Robots
Being realistic
Achewood
Musical instruments
Fun piranhas
Mexican food made by Chinese men
Every venue that ever believed in the Vandervoorts, except the Charleston because that guy was an asshole
Wordplay, eg puns
D-W-I-G-H-T (another dude from Kansas, btw)
Josh the guy from Something Else
Jack the guy from the internet
AND MOST OF ALL, The Vandervoorts are thankful for this blog, What's Up VANDERVOORTS?
Disclaimer: These are just things I think the Vandervoorts would be thankful for, based on my research (Google mostly), astrological science, and stalking some of them. The Vandervoorts MAY or MAY NOT actually be thankful for these things (or for anything really).
What am I thankful for? Of course the Vandervoorts, but I am also thankful for this blog, which has made me something of a celebrity (but a celebrity with a SECRET IDENTITY) and also a vital conduit of information and love between the VANDERVOORTS and their fans. If you ever have a chance to be a love conduit, do not turn it down. It is an awesome feeling.
The Vandervoorts are an awesome NYC rock band. Dorothy Vandervoort plays guitar. Emma Vandervoort plays bass. Yung-En Vandervoort plays drums. And Mark Vandervoort brings it all together by singing.
You can email me by sending a message to: mediaempire [at] gmail [dot] com.
I started this blog to follow the Vandervoorts rise to fame, and also to spread gossip and rumors about them.
